今天爬山跑步的时候听了podcast《文化有限》的vol.128 霍乱时期的爱情，诚实的生活，爱的时候不必撒谎，因为我很久不读小说了，所以还是有些感触。嘉宾们主要讲了两点，魔幻现实和爱情。

其中有个观点让我感到有些共鸣。大概意思是，阿里萨对达萨的感情更多的是占有欲和征服欲而不是爱情，阿里萨等了女神达萨50多年，如果是真的为她好的话可能当达萨一开始嫁给乌尔比诺医生的时候就祝福她了，而不是一直默默等待，像盖茨比一样翻身后，等到医生死后再跟女神表白在一起。我感觉主要观点就是如果你得不到某一个人的人的时候看到她跟更合适的人在一起就应该祝福她过的更好，这才是爱情，而一定要拥有的在今天的观点看来可能不是可怜/爱情，而是一种占有欲/征服欲。我也有遇到类似的情况，但我有点分不清，我当时是祝福她过的更好，但如果她没有过的更好或者说我如果是更合适的那个人，那别人是不是应该祝福我呢，所以我觉得可能更多的取决于每个人的感觉/选择，不管怎么样作为成年人都应该要对自己负责了。

Today while hiking and running I listened to the podcast Culture Is Limited (《文化有限》), vol.128 Love in the Time of Cholera: living honestly, no need to lie when you love. Since I haven’t read novels in a long time, it still stirred some feelings in me. The guests mainly talked about two things: magical realism and love.

One of the views resonated with me a bit. Roughly, it was that Florentino’s feelings for Fermina were more about possessiveness and the desire to conquer than about love. Florentino waited for his goddess Fermina for more than 50 years. If he had truly wanted what was best for her, he might have given her his blessing back when she first married Dr. Urbino, instead of waiting silently all along, and then, after turning his life around like Gatsby, waiting until the doctor died to confess his love and get together with her. I think the main point is that if you can’t have someone, and you see her with someone more suitable, you should wish her a better life; that is love. Insisting that you must have her might, by today’s standards, not be pity/love, but a kind of possessiveness/desire to conquer. I’ve been in a similar situation too, but I can’t quite tell. Back then I wished her a better life, but what if she didn’t end up better off, or what if I was actually the more suitable one? Shouldn’t others give me their blessing then? So I think it probably comes down more to each person’s feelings/choices. Either way, as adults we all have to take responsibility for ourselves.